But nonetheless, I am very excited about the trend towards chunky gold jewelry, not least because I already own a chunky gold watch. Well, I should probably say "gold" watch. OK, it's a Swatch. But it is gold (or rather "gold") and I love it. I bought it on a girls' trip to Paris that was the first time I left my firstborn son overnight and Cynthia and I got so drunk and loud on the plane that several other passengers complained to the flight crew. Ah, good times. So Cynthia and I will always have Paris, and a gold Swatch to remember it by:
And starting with this one item, I am going to build a "look" that will leave me closely resembling the woman in this picture:
All I need is blonde hair, an expensive cashmere camel sweater, an even more expensive bag, to drop 10 pounds, and lots of nice chunky bracelets. Fortunately for Ted, as a vegan I try to buy bags that aren't real leather, and synthetic bags tend to not be very expensive. Unfortunately for Ted, I have my eye on several bracelets to complete my "look":
See? All set. I am going to forego the blonde hair, though - when I wear a blonde wig I look like a transvestite. This is not me being modest, it's the truth. I was once at a Halloween party in a blonde wig and heard someone say about me "Oh, look, there's a transvestite." I was a flight attendant. Last Halloween I was Taylor Swift, and someone thought I was supposed to be a female impersonator dressed as Cher. She didn't think I was dressed as Cher, she thought I was dressed as a MAN dressed as Cher. So perhaps blonde is not the way to go for me. Some people are just meant to have brown hair. Now if I can just find a cashmere camel cowl neck sweater...