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Monday, October 17, 2011


I know that the stereotype of the hot contractor is a cliche, but Gerard is the perfect stereotype. He has blue blue eyes and a charming Irish brogue and has never taken on a project he couldn't finish in time and under budget. No, you may not have his phone number. Here he is:

Handsome and Capable Contractor
Ted and I first met Gerard when we were still living in the first apartment we bought together. It was a 4th floor walk-up in a townhouse that was about 200 years old, and the floor of the upstairs bathroom (it was a duplex) had an unfortunate habit of falling through the kitchen ceiling. Also, the banister was shaky, and the roof leaked into our bedroom. We saw a lot of Gerard. Then we got pregnant and moved to another duplex on the first two floors of the same building. I won't go into the gory details, but suffice it to say that Gerard had about 6 weeks of work to do before we could even move in. And it didn't stop there. So he's known us since before any of my children were born, fielded late night, hysterical phone calls from me when Ted was out of town and the plumber walled up my cat into the bathroom wall, for example, or when the supplier delivered a sliding door to the backyard that was backwards and refused to exchange it. For all of this I was pregnant, so Gerard has seen me cry. A lot. And yet he hasn't changed his number and still answers when we call. If I wasn't a married woman (and a little afraid of Mary, Gerard's wife. Irish women do not fuck around)...

Anyway, I introduce Gerard because he is going to perform the transformation of my basement from playroom to mudroom. I will have "before" photos of the space tomorrow, along with examples of my inspiration for the finished product. Then you will feel very bad for Gerard. But don't worry. He's faced worse, like the time I called him in Ireland where he was visiting his ailing mother to ask him why water was pouring into my kitchen, only to have him explain to me (at international rates) that there are things called gutters that have to be cleaned when one buys a house and moves to the country. Lucky Gerard!

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November 7, 2011 at 12:23 PM

Haha excellent he looks like a great guy!

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