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Saturday, December 10, 2011

ANIMAL URGES

No, no, not those kind of animal urges. Although if I listen to any more of the album Rapprocher by Class Actress before Ted gets home, I'm going to have to make out with the UPS man:


Go ahead, have a listen. Especially track number ten, Hangin' On. Ah, well, I'm "hangin' on" till Ted returns on Tuesday. But back to the animal urges I to which I was referring. Animal PRINTS. I'm late to the party on this one, I know, but I have been holding out. Why? Too out there, too aggressive, too attention-grabbing... Then I realized that I basically just described myself and gave in. Here's what I want:

Top Shop, $200
I mean, dalmatian print? It's Cruella de Ville, New Millennium style! As in, not real puppy fur, which is gross. Instead, it's faux and it's fabulous. Genius. But I am not limiting myself to black and white:

J. Crew, $200
This would look amazing with black tights and shoes and a very fitted dark brown turtleneck sweater. I'm not sure what the hell else I'd wear it with, but since I don't own it and probably never will, who gives a shit? Anyway, moving on:

J. Crew, $45

A scarf, on the other hand? Ultimately wearable. With almost anything. Love love love. An "accent piece," if you will. Another accent piece? Shoes:
Vince Camuto (Piper Lime), $90
I know what you're thinking. Those shoes are kind of cheap and those heels are awfully high - won't I look like a whore? First of all, they are on sale and used to be more expensive. And secondly, let's be honest - how long are we really going to be wearing animal prints? Who knows? Not me. So I'm not dropping $400 fucking dollars on a pair of leopard print shoes, thank you very much. And thirdly, the heel is only 3.5 inches which is practically a flat these days. So shut up. Whore.

But let's not be selfish and only think of oneself. There's also the house to consider:

Kyoozi (Etsy), $50


Jonathan Adler, $1K
Yes, these are both black and white, but black and white goes with almost ANYTHING, and how the fuck do I know what your living room looks like? You could have no taste. In fact, since you are here, you very probably have no taste.

I leave you with the ultimate Animal:



Now go listen to Class Actress and make out with your mailman!

XOXOXO
ABC
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