Friday, April 13, 2012


I am so, so fucking sick of my red kitchen. When we got engaged, and registered for the requisite Kitchen Aid mixer, I chose the red one:

I still love my red mixer. But one thing led to another, and before I knew it ALL my countertop appliances were red. You think I'm exaggerating. I am not. We have a red teapot:

A red crockpot:

A red George Foreman grill, a red rice cooker, a red food processor, red dishtowels, red oven mitts, red red red everywhere you look. The two hanging lights in our galley kitchen are red:

And we didn't even buy them! They came with the goddamn house! All the red wasn't so bad in our old apartment, but when we moved here, I decided to embrace it and paint the breakfast eating area at the end of our kitchen red:

And the day it was done I was already so sick of it I wanted to vomit every time I walked into the kitchen. Which is a great diet plan, but not so great for one's quality of life. Although it is a lovely background for the very expensive, very ugly, very big, and very broken clock that hangs on one wall:

The light that hangs over the table is, mercifully, not red. It's copper, and old, and pretty cool, actually:

But it's not going to fit in with my vision for the not-red kitchen, and will therefore have to leave. I think we'll take it out to my mom's. And soon. Because it's time for a change.

Now that we've been here for two and half years, and I've started this fledgling business helping other people NOT want to vomit at the sight of their own homes, I have realized it is long past time to do something about the red kitchen.

But as you know, Ted is super cheap financially responsible, so we're not redoing the kitchen or anything. There's no money, and really no need, for a complete renovation. It just needs little help. A nip here. A tuck there. I'm calling it Project: Kitchen Facelift, and we're taking it bit by bit. The first step was replacing all the gross old brass hardware. Then, luckily for me, one of the red hanging lights broke, and even Ted realizes it makes more sense to spend money on new ones that we actually like rather than fixing it. So the second step is replacing those two lights with these:

Schoolhouse Pendant from Shades of Light
And the third and most exciting step is repainting those red walls - they will no longer be red, but rather  this color:

Benjamin Moore Chelsea Gray
I have been to the hardware store. Paint, rollers, and a new brush have been purchased. The new lights arrived today and Ted thinks he can put them up himself without killing himself/burning the house down. It's going to be a busy weekend around here but, so help me God, I'm going to have after pictures to show you on Sunday night. So take a good look at the kitchen as it is now:

Because with a little luck and some physical exertion, in two days it's going to be a very different place. At least I really, really hope so.

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