BRIMFIELD: SPRING 2012

Brimfield rolled around again, and after our first venture to the antique sale of antique sales, my BFF Laura and I were determined to return as seasoned professionals. Well, despite getting the week mixed up, the days mixed up, being forced to skip the tweetup dinner, and having to leave early to catch a flight to San Francisco to hold another dear friend's hand through some hard times, it was a success.

Once we arrived and made our way to the tweetup tent, we were lucky enough to get to chat with Cynthia from The Daily Basics, who is one of the lovely co-hosts of the event. We then ogled the beautiful Benjamin Moore displays, fortified ourselves with an alcoholic beverage or two, and headed out to fill our carts.

As you may know, I have been looking for a rug for the living room for a long time. One rug that fits the whole room. The measurement would have to be about 9'x16', which is a totally random size and very hard to find. I know that the Moroccan rugs are currently filling the bill, but eventually I'd like to get one rug for the room. Eventually, Ted! Keep your pants on.

So one of the first things we see is an amazing rug. The size? 9'x15'6". Here's the rug:

Beautiful Rug

Corner of Beautiful Rug

Border of Beautiful Rug

But here's the thing. This rug was a lifetime purchase. And one into which I wouldn't want the kids to be grinding goldfish crackers, or spilling chocolate milk on. So chances are it would sit in the attic for years. Besides that, it cost $5,500 and if I bought it I'd have had to have sex with it as well as put furniture on it because my husband would leave me. And while I'm up for almost anything, a lifetime of sexual relations with a carpet was off-putting enough for me to move on.

So on we went. I saw an antique typewriter that my mother would have died over:

But really? Who needs an antique typewriter? No one. Seriously. Unless it's the one on which your great-grandfather typed Moby Dick, you don't need that shit.

I also saw an antique quilt that I ALMOST loved:

But almost only counts in grenades and horseshoes, not antique quilts, so on we went. I was on the lookout for a pair of china dogs, and there were plenty in attendance but not all of them were appealing:

Too Fancy - Look At Their Smug Expressions

Too Green-ish

But like Goldilocks, the third time was the charm and I came across this pair:

Sweet-Faced Lovies

Only in typical Laura/Ann Burr/Brimfield fashion, Laura took them home by accident and her husband found them and thought she bought them and next thing I know I get this photo:

MY Dogs On Laura's Dresser!!!!!

Clearly I am going to have to go over there, physically remove them from the premises, and restore them to their rightful home on either side of my fireplace.

There were also some disturbing items for sale. Exhibit A:

Coffee Table With Creepy Bears Carved Into It

But by far the creepiest thing we saw in the two days we were there was this:

The Fuck???

And it just gets weirder when you see what the face belongs to:

Why, In The Name Of All That Is Holy? Why?

My friend Dave was seriously disappointed that I didn't buy it, pointing out the child discipline possibilities: "Do that again and you're going in the closet with the clown-faced horror-show carousel centaur!"

And what antique show would be complete without a Beyonce appearance?:

Knock Knock, Motherfucker

But the real haul of the trip was, believe it or not, a silver punchbowl. I have been coveting a silver punchbowl for years. I am bitter, because much like a bar cart, I feel a punch bowl is part of my WASP-y heritage and I should have inherited at least one. But no punchbowls are to be had for love or money in my family. So when I saw this:

I bargained the guy down $20 from the asking price and snapped it up! OK, so it's not solid silver (what am I, made of fucking money?), it's silver plate over copper (my mother was mortified), but it's beautiful and came with 12 matching cups:

I cannot wait to polish that bad boy up and fill it with delicious alcoholic beverages.

All in all, the trip was a definite success. I mean, how could it not be? The only downside, and I mean the ONLY one, was that we wanted to stay longer.

So next time we will.

XOXOXO

ABC