HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE

Now I know that this does not sound like rocket science, and it's not. But you'd be amazed at how many people take shitty pictures of their tree. Whereas my photos of our tree do not suck. They are not amazing as I am a crap photographer, but they're good enough for me (and for my Facebook friends, as I am sharing all my tree pictures. Well, at least the three friends who haven't blocked me already.)

Why do I care what pictures of other people's Christmas trees look like, you ask? I am a giver, that's all. Spreading Christmas joy wherever I go, one photo tip at a time.

Seriously, though, this will be the first and last photo tip, cause I don't know jack about taking pictures. Plus, my "tip," if you can even call it that, is simple verging on ridiculousness. And I didn't even steal it from Pinterest, though there is no shortage of tree-photo-taking tutorials there:

However, all of said tutorials would require me to read them, internalize the information, and then use it properly when taking a picture. I can't be dealing with ISO, shutter speeds, F-stops, aperture openings, and shit like that! I have two small children to ignore and a filthy house to avoid cleaning. No, no, no. What I do is just PIN the tutorials and then take the easy way out. Which will explain why my photos don't look quite like the ones above.

But my tip is for morons/really lazy people, so if you qualify - read on. (And if you don't celebrate Christmas, I apologize. There is a remarkable dearth of menorah-photo-taking tutorials on Pinterest. Perhaps you should get on that. Just sayin')

Full disclosure: the Before and After photos are from last year.

Before

After

OK, so what did I do? Wait for it... I turned off the flash. That's it! (I warned you this was for morons.) But look at the difference! Here's another example:

Before

After

Again, the only (ONLY) thing that I did was switch to the mode that has the little photo of the lightening with a bar through it - the NO FLASH setting. And then maybe I had a drink. I mean, I don't remember exactly, but it's a pretty safe assumption. What're the holidays for if not over-indulging in seasonal alcoholic beverages?

Here is this year's tree: 

which is fortunate since it may be the photo we use on our holiday card as our efforts to take a decent one of the family have been... well, "unsuccessful" is probably the kindest way to put it. We're making another attempt tomorrow night. Wish me luck.

XOXOXO

ABC