Oct 11

Oct 11 BEYOND BRIDEZILLA

We got engaged at Grand Central, which sounds odd but it’s where we had our first date so the whole thing was very romantic. John, who is not from New York City but has seen far too many romantic comedies that take place in New York City, was shocked and disappointed when a crowd didn’t gather when he got down on one knee with the ring and cheer for us when I said yes. I, being from New York City, was unsurprised that no one seemed to even notice us unless we were in their way.

Once we got engaged, I immediately turned my attention to the wedding. Obviously.

I read somewhere that a second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience, which seems to me both optimistic and slightly depressing. On a related note, a second wedding can be a delicate dance. Especially if you had a big church wedding the first time around. Which I did.

So on the one hand, I’ve done it before and most of the promises I made in front of a lot of people (not to mention the Lord Himself) turned out, well, not quite as imagined. On the other hand, I am in love and happy and super excited to be getting married and want to share it all with people. But in a tasteful way. We will not, for example, be hosting a 400-person, three-day extravaganza in Newport, RI (you know who you are).

I know what you’re thinking. “Have a small wedding.” Or even, “Elope!” But I want a real wedding. And I have a lot of cousins. When all is said and done, this isn’t happening with fewer than 75-100 people. Whatever. We’re having the rehearsal dinner at the house and the ceremony/reception at a local place in town. Unless COVID, in which case we’ll have to rethink our whole plan.

I am in full Bridezilla mode and will be until next June. There are four flower girls (junior bridesmaids? They’ll be 12.) I have purchased not one but three wedding dresses. That’s right, you heard me. Three. Here they are.

DRESS 1: MARCHESA

DRESS 2: BADGLEY MISCHKA

DRESS 3: MARCHESA

Feel free to vote for your top choice in the comments. If you hate them all, don’t panic - I’m still looking. Also I need shoes.

NOTE: If any of you have a source for tasteful dresses for 12-year-old girls that don’t make the wearer look either Amish or whorish, for the love of god share it with me.

ABC